


The show

by LieutenantCommando



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Choose Your Own Adventure, Crack Treated Seriously, Dirty Jokes, Explicit Language, Fanart, Fluff and Crack, Interactive Fiction, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieutenantCommando/pseuds/LieutenantCommando
Summary: "As Bill opened his eyes, he glanced around in a mystified awe; what the fuck?"--A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style fic with one ending. It's full of jokes, Pennywise being Pennywise, Bill being 100% done and Billwise. Please read the tags.Art is mine.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Pennywise
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	1. Showtime

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! 
> 
> I wanted to celebrate my OTP by making this little text game that is meant to make people laugh lol
> 
> Thanks a bunch to all my friends who helped me while I was writing it, especially No Soup Can Clean My Dirty Mind, who found a bunch of typos! 
> 
> Hope you have a good time playing this!

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.

.

As Bill opened his eyes, he glanced around in a mystified awe; what the fuck?

Beams of light cascaded from the ceiling, illuminating a red carpeted floor and a big sofa that had little clowns as a pattern.

A Christmas tree was placed close to it, creating a cozy ambient, but even though his still sleepy mind was slowly unfolding the scene playing right in front of his eyes, Bill knew something was amiss.

It seemed like a dream, but a silent voice in the back of his consciousness was slowly raising the possibility that Pennywise was behind it all.

Suddenly, a loud metallic screech resonated from around the room, bringing some hidden sound equipment to life and making the redhead jump in place.

Upbeat carnival music exploded at the same time confetti fell from the sky, showering Bill from head to toe, sticking to his pajamas and hair.

A high pitched, crazed laugh filled the place.

Bill:

[Tried to hide behind the sofa.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331686#workskin)

[Stood where he was, defiantly waiting for the clown.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331731#workskin)


	2. Tried to hide behind the sofa.

“Boo,” Pennywise whispered against his ear, laughing obnoxiously when Bill was filled with goosebumps, a small scream leaving his lips before they were pressed in a thin, irritated line; this fucking clown...

“Oh, c’mon, little buddy,” He said with high spirits, crouching so he could better watch Bill, but even hunched, his form towered over the writer.

“Let’s not be sour, shall we?” Pennywise smiled then, showing long, ragged teeth.

“Today we’re having a _very_ special show,” He trembled his muscles and shook his head, making some bells ring from beneath his ruffled collar, “Very special, indeed,” His voice, until then rather pleasant to hear, broke down in a guttural tone.

Bill noticed how the music varied in pitch, assuming a somber cadence.

“--W-What are you talking a-about?” He felt his cheeks warm up while his tongue found some trouble to form words.

Pennywise then froze, his face fixed in a wide, cruel grin, saliva dripping from his red, plump lip, his eyes, now a glowing orange, watched Bill closely, knowingly. The fear, he could smell it. 

His little buddy’s fear was like a very delicate fragrance, so light that it only lasted for a small second, but it was enough.

The clown then suddenly moved, standing at his full height and throwing both arms above his head.

“Why, because it’s time for the best show! Pennywise, the dancing clown’s show! Christmas edition!”

Bill, still on the ground, could only look to his host.

[“...What.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331794#workskin)


	3. Stood where he was, defiantly waiting for the clown

Bill watched as Pennywise came from the shadows, juggling a few colorful spheres that seemed to glow under the spotlights.

He walked seemingly without care, bumping against the sofa and then letting one of the balls slip out of reach. 

Soon, the room was filled with the sound of all orbs bouncing in random directions, marking Pennywise’s failed attempt at a trick. Regardless, he bowed, a proud grin splitting his face.

“What do you want?”

Bill asked with certain hostility, holding his ground as the clown locked their gazes.

A quick pause followed, until Pennywise contorted his face into a mask of mocked sorrow.

“Wasn’t this good enough for you, Billy?” He asked, a hint of anger sparkling in his eyes, “And right after I planned all of this...”

Bill looked at the vague gestures the clown made, indicating the well-lit room that seemed to stop abruptly where the darkness began.

The music playing in the background was being interrupted by some static noises and a deep sound that Bill took a few moments to recognize as a low growl.

When he looked back to Pennywise’s face, the clown had dropped all the façade; his not entirely human muscles were pulled into a deep frown, eyes glowing a dangerous red while the lights went down, a single beam illuminating the clown’s form.

Something primal awakened in the redhead then, an instinct that urged him to run, to protect himself, to _survive_ , but his legs seemed cemented to the floor.

Pennywise then twitched, his nostrils flaring as a lazy smile overtook his features.

It had smelled it, his fear.

The lights and music came back with full force, making the writer flinch while the clown took a few steps back, advancing in a frenzied race and jumping over the sofa, spreading all his limbs in such a manner that for a moment, Bill thought he was seeing a spider.

His landing was boisterous, shaking the floor and making the redhead almost lose his balance.

“Time to float!”

Bill watched him, speechless and unmoving.

[“...What.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331794#workskin)


	4. “...What.”

Pennywise clapped, from between his fingers a cue card materialized from nowhere.

The redhead watched, puzzled, only then realizing that he seemed to be in a big studio, a set up for some kind of talk show.

Where exactly they were, Bill had no idea, but he was inclined to believe everything was just a very elaborated dream.

As the clown motioned for the sofa, silently inviting him to sit down, a part of his brain started to discard the idea, though; it seemed real, it _felt_ real.

Bill took a few moments to absently run his fingers over the furniture, then pressed his bare toes against the carpet.

The texture didn't seem off, nor his feelings or thoughts. His brain was wide awake.

"Still doubting me?"

Pennywise asked in a low tone, regarding his guest with unblinking eyes. 

He was standing not very far away from Bill, eyes twinkling and flashing yellow. 

But before the redhead could reply or even acknowledge the idea that he might be awake, Pennywise spoke. 

"Let's get started, shall we, little buddy?"

He smiled and Bill held his breath when a big sign blinked to life right behind the clown.

The phrase "Pennywise, the dancing clown's show" was glowing in neon, stars and snowflakes decorating it.

There was no fucking way this was real, the redhead decided, and thus he relaxed a bit. 

"There's only one rule, little one," the clown said, raising a long finger, "Answer everything correctly and you'll get the big prize!"

Bill waited for the big news, but as it became apparent Pennywise was expecting him to guess, the redhead shrugged. 

"A way out of h-here?"

An alarm echoed across the place, making Bill cringe for its loudness. 

"Don't be silly, Billy boy," Pennywise laughed before leaning over, "You'll get the best thing you could ever wished for: Me."

[“...Are you f-fucking kidding me?”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331833)

[“This isn’t r-real.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331950#workskin)


	5. “...Are you f-fucking kidding me?”

The redhead scoffed.

Enough was enough and it was past the point he ended all this madness to go back to the real world; he was sure he’d be waking up in his bed, all the way back in England, and the weirdness of this dream would last just until he poured some hot tea into his system.

Christmas would be celebrated with some good food and drinks, a few gifts and a movie that would send him directly to la la land.

He pinched his own arm, pain flaring through his skin as a hot shock, but nothing happened. He was still sitting on Pennywise's red couch, the clown watching him with a sharp smile, chuckling.

“Oh no, it didn’t work!” He said, whipping off a fake tear from both his eyes.

Bill was becoming even more restless, jumping from the sofa and walking directly to the shadows, ignoring the clown as best as he could.

Certainly, there was a way out, right?

[“Sorry, little buddy!”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69331908)


	6. "Sorry, little buddy!”

Laughing obnoxiously, Pennywise let his special guest wander beyond the scenario, finding Bill’s confused face extremely funny when he simply walked back to where he started.

“Wouldn’t it be _too easy_ if you could just walk away?” Pennywise teased, watching the redhead try another direction, running past the Christmas tree, but the result ended up being the same; they were trapped in that set up and all the paths led right back to the clown.

“Got tired?” He asked when Bill, not a very athletic person, was already panting after all the exercise and desperation.

“C’mon, come play with the clown,” And without Bill truly wanting, as if an invisible force or a very strong wind was pushing him, he was driven to the couch.

[Question number 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332154)


	7. “This isn’t r-real.”

Pennywise immediately darkened, his jaw going slack, revealing what seemed more than just a row of sharp teeth. Drool slipped by his red bottom lip and Bill saw the tips of his white gloves ripping apart to make way for sharp, dirty talons. 

The clown didn’t need to say anything to make the writer realize that his comment had hit a nerve.

“After all those years you still don’t believe in me, Billy boy,” His forehead was all wrinkled, eyes sinking deep in his skull.

The upper hand the redhead thought he might have vanished.

Suddenly, however, the clown smiled, cruelly.

“No matter, I’ll show you how much I’ve _craved_ you.”

[Question number 1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332154)


	8. Question number 1

Pennywise looked at the cue card at the same time that he absentmindedly reached behind himself, taking a red hat with a white pompom apparently out of nowhere, placing it on top of his ginger locks.

Bill decided to not question it.

“Oh, this one is easy, little buddy!” He exclaimed excitedly, “Can’t get it wrong,” Winking, Pennywise abruptly turned to the Christmas tree, bending to where a couple of wrapped gifts were placed.

Feeling rather uncomfortable and a bit curious, the redhead tried to see what the clown was doing, but he didn’t need to wait long; Pennywise rose, a pretty box between his hands while another was glued to his crotch.

This wasn’t going to good places, was it?

Seemingly reading Bill’s thoughts, Pennywise smiled broadly.

“Which gift will you unwrap?” 

[Reach out for the one in his hands.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332208#workskin)

[Well, no pain, no gain.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332292#workskin)


	9. Reach out for the one in his hands.

Bill didn’t need to think a lot to go with the safest option. He’d gladly ruin whatever joke the clown was trying to pull.

His fingers held the lid and Pennywise let him open the box, revealing a sad smiley drawn in what seemed like sharpie.

“Aww, looks like you did get it wrong,” He tried to copy the drawing, sniffing a couple of times, “But don’t you worry, little buddy, you’ve another chance!”

Bill looked down, then. Disgust slowly made its way to his face.

“Remember that this is your only way out,” Pennywise said in an attempt of pushing Bill.

[Well, no pain, no gain.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332292#workskin)


	10. Well, no pain, no gain

Bill was absolutely sure that the clown was pulling some disgusting prank.

The box was probably filled with some abomination; insects, goo, tentacles, or maybe it truly contained something similar to a dick, just to mess with him.

It was an obvious trap, but knowing Pennywise’s childish behavior, that was the correct box, so might as well take the bullet.

Hesitating a bit, Bill took a step closer to the 8 foot tall beast.

“Are you afraid, little one?” He teased in a low tone, “Think I put something _meaty_ inside it?” Drool was pooling on his ruffled collar.

Seeing how much of an asshole Pennywise was gave Bill the energy to finally be done with it.

“S-Shut up.”

He ripped the box open and held his breath.

Pennywise laughed, holding Bill by the chin.

“Thanks for finding my cue card!”

[Question number 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332355#workskin)


	11. Question number 2

“I f-fucking hate you,” Bill whispered, taking a step back and away, returning to the comfortable sofa.

He didn't know when this living nightmare was going to end, but Pennywise seemed to be having a good time. 

"You look so angry, Billy boy… Want me to kiss that pout away?"

The offering made Bill frown, a negative answer ready to escape his lips, however, Pennywise pointed up, grinning wildly. 

Bill then noticed a small plant hanging above his head. 

Mistletoe. 

Oh no...

"You know the rules, little one," He said innocently, as if he had nothing to do with that and was simply playing along.

["W-What's the next question already?"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332385)

[Tradition is tradition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332442)


	12. "W-What's the next question already?"

A loud siren blasted around the small set up, making Bill jump and cover his ears.

“Wrong question, little buddy,” Pennywise said matter of factly, disapproving of Bill’s attempt of simply running away from his obligations.

For a moment, silence reigned while the redhead recovered from the shock, an indignant expression climbing to his face.

“F-Fuck that!”

The siren came back, lasting for more than just a couple of seconds and seemingly ringing inside the writer’s skull.

“C-Could you stop being an a-asshole?” Bill ventured, only to have the loud sound thundering all around his head one more time.

“For a kiss, maybe,” Pennywise said nonchalantly, ignoring his guest’s disgruntled attitude.

Goddamnit.

[Tradition is tradition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332442)


	13. Tradition is tradition

Clearly, Pennywise wasn't going to let him escape.

"Why are you following h-human customs all of the sudden?" Bill tried to resort to his last trick: upset the clown by making him realize he was at his enemy level.

"Because it's convenient, and fun." But Pennywise seemed pretty content, not at all bothered if he was being equaled to a low species.

Bill wasn’t expecting this sort of reaction and it certainly showed; Pennywise giggled, so thrilled that the little bells in his clothing rang.

“ _Don’t make me wait_ ,” The guttural voice was a surprise, but it served its purpose, for soon the writer was leaving the couch, approaching his host.

Bill was aware that Pennywise had a plethora of powers, shape shifting being one of them, and it became apparent the clown was abusing it, making himself bigger and larger whenever he deemed necessary.

“Hm,” The redhead mumbled, looking up and gathering the courage to ask Pennywise to bend down, which the clown did graciously, their faces now level.

“N-Not on the lips,” Bill found he had regressed some good years and was now acting like a child, but the clown was way worse, actually pouting and showing the beginnings of throwing a tantrum.

“Then you won’t be leaving this place,” He said harshly, frowning deeply just as Bill felt a wave of anger hitting.

This damned clown!

“--Fine!” 

And so, the redhead inclined his head, closing the distance between their faces to finally glue their lips together.

The kiss lasted just a few seconds, coming to an end with a wet noise that sent goosebumps through the writer’s spine. 

When Bill opened his eyes, Pennywise was looking at him, a delighted smile in his red mouth.

[“Now we can have the second question.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332460)


	14. “Now we can have the second question.”

Cue card in hands, the clown briefly read what was supposedly written there, not complaining when the writer returned to his seat.

Bill was already mentally tired, looking forward to when he’d be finally free.

A small, joyful laugh was all the warning Bill had before Pennywise started to talk: 

“If I were to ask you for a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question? Answer quickly!”

Panic seized the redhead and, suddenly, all his thoughts went blank.

“--W-What--”

“Answer _now!_ ” Pennywise urged, not giving Bill enough time to think.

“Yes or yes?!”

[“Yes! ...W-Wait.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332481)


	15. “Yes! ...W-Wait.”

When the writer finally understood what the clown had meant, he felt his cheeks warming up, embarrassment eating up his insides, for he was tricked, thoroughly so.

Pennywise seemed to read his thoughts and emotions, smiling predatorily as he leaned over, locking their gazes.

“Well, you got yourself a date,” The clown winked, very pleased with himself, even when the redhead tried to complain.

“That’s b-bullshit and you know it.”

“Nah, you played yourself, little buddy,” Pennywise shrugged, checking his own nails as if they weren’t covered by a glove.

Taking a deep breath, Bill willed himself to remain calm. He had come so far, survived many atrocities… He could do this. 

Freedom was around the corner, he just needed to play along. 

[“Right… W-What’s the next question?”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69332544#workskin)


	16. “Right… W-What’s the next question?”

“Glad you asked,” The clown smiled, looking down at the cue card for a couple of seconds before suddenly throwing it out, “Who cares, anyway?”

Bill, baffled, watched the small piece of paper disappear in the darkness. 

"You don’t need any more questions,” Pennywise then assumed a proud pose, puffing out his chest, “You already got the biggest prize: a date with Me.”

Wow, wasn’t that the greatest honor?

The redhead looked from the clown to nothing in particular, wondering how long this whole show had been going on… Hours, maybe it was even night in the real world and if he missed Christmas dinner, he’d be very upset.

“If I say y-yes… Will you let me leave this place now?”

The amount of time Pennywise took to reply made Bill fidget in place, but when he did, relief washed through the redhead.

“Why, of course.”

Sadly, it was short lived.

“With one condition.”

Bloody hell.

“We’ll spend the holidays together.”

Bill took another deep breath, considering his options.

“D-Do I have a choice?” He deadpanned, seeing how much fun the clown was having.

“We could always stay here, I’ve the whole eternity, little buddy,” Pennywise then sat on a stool that appeared from thin air, stretching his long legs and folding his arms.

Bill didn’t know how many deep breaths he had left.

“--Fine,” Before the clown could even say anything, the redhead pointed an accusatory finger in his direction, “But no eating children!”

A heartbeat of silence.

[Well, shit. The things one does for love...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28293939/chapters/69334383)


	17. Happy ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this absolute train wreck lolol
> 
> Wish everyone a good time and (hopefully) a better 2021! Thanks for reading and I'd love to know your thoughts! <3


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